In December last year I agreed to travel to Winnipeg to accompany my dad to the hospital for his surgery for hernia. He had the operation in January. It disrupted his routine of visiting mother in the nursing home for a few days, but he was back at it. He realized that his needs to visit and be with her had been putting a strain on his family – specifically my sisters, who had been picking him or taking him home. He agreed to apply to be placed in a nursing home – on strict condition that it would be the same home as mother. He was surprised when his application was approved quickly. He had been underestimating his frailties.
He moved when a room became available. He is on the same floor in a different wing. He visits mother and tries to anticipate her needs and wants, and to provide care that the staff can’t provide. This tires him out, because his ideas of what she needs and deserves are not the same as everyone else’s, and he reacts to her smallest gestures. As her behavior is impulsive, this can be frustrating for him. He says he is happy. He is busy with his efforts to help mother. He turned 80 in June. I visited at the end of June.