Save the Mallrat

N. seems to have arrived in Edmonton. He called me collect this morning and the collect caller notification was from Telus. He wouldn’t give me an address because he said he thought I would send the police. He said a friend had provided some money for the bus but had ditched him in Edmonton before they could a place or get jobs. He wanted me to send money through the MoneyMart stores because he needed food and a place to stay. He said the shelters were full and he was on the street. He said it was a loan until he got a job. He said his life and future were in Edmonton.

I said I had not agreed to this trip or this plan. I said he had other resources, just like when he was on the street in Winnipeg. I said I was simply not supporting his choices. I said I thought the money was going to pay for drugs again. We ended the call with threats of violence and harsh words from him.
How am I doing with this? Not too badly. If n. can live like this, I can live with the knowledge of his situation. This is the fourth or fifth replay of the same story since last August. N. runs away from a safe situation, then says he is in trouble and he needs money for survival. Sometimes the story has been an outright scam to get cash for drugs. Sometimes he has had a more direct and genuine need, caused by his own bad choices. Still, giving him cash just prolongs his time on the street and gives him time and resources to keeping finding drugs.
I had a hard time saying no in the past, because Jan always criticized me for not trusting n. She believed I did not love him. It was part of her pattern of blaming me for n.’s addiction and her distress. I was always afraid of losing Jan if I followed my own judgment instead of her impulses. That’s all changed now.
I love n., but today he is an addict and a thief. I don’t trust him. I cannot change him or help him by giving him money.


One response to “Save the Mallrat”

  1. Garth Danielson Avatar
    Garth Danielson

    Boy, I wish I could have someone look after me too. Stick to your guns and don’t cave in about the money, your suspicions are absolutely correct.
    I have to admire the guts of a 16 year old kid who can runaway like that. I sure didn’t have them at that age, and still don’t have them today. Of course having common sense to go along with it is the key. I was always the stay at home kid, that’s there my stuff is, stuff that I am still burdened by. I didn’t leave my mothers house until I was 25 and that was to get married and move to another country. I always thought that living at home wasn’t too bad. My mother was pretty easy going and there was no father after I was 16 and not much of one before that (alcoholic-staying outlate dad type). It was only after I discovered fandom and found a community that was simular enough to me that I was interested in getting out of the house.

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